"Some days are better than others"

"Some days are better than others," states Charlie Bartlett (in the movie Charlie Bartlett). And I have to agree with him.

2 days left before I go.

As that day draws closer, I find myself constantly dwelling on everything I'm leaving behind for a year and all the people I won't be able to see for a year. And the more I think about how I won't be able to see them for a year, the more I find myself wondering how much I really want to go.

The other exchange students have all been in their countries for quite some time. August 5th for Austria, August 13th (or around then) for Mexico, August 22nd for Bolivia, and about a week or so ago for Turkey. In an effort to be productive in my dwelling, I began thinking about why I have started feeling so strong about not wanting to go all of the sudden. I came to 2 conclusions.
#1. These feelings were to be expected as part of the exchange and are probably part of anyone's exchange, but the difference is that the earlier departure date forces the student to get over it by getting them involved in their host country. In my case, I've had more time sitting around waiting to think about it. Which leads me to,
#2. The extra time at home has made given me more time to spend with the people I'll be leaving behind and let me build those relationships up before I go, in turn making me feel more attached and making me want to leave them even less.

Now, I'm not trying to say I don't want to go. Because I do want to. It's just that I've had time to think about who I'm leaving behind where other exchange students may have been too busy getting ready and going to think about it before they left. But I'm just speculating about what the other students have been thinking and feeling.

2 days left before I go, and I'm excited. At this point, another quote from Charlie Bartlett comes to mind. "What you do in this life matters." I don't know exactly how that's relevant, but it's an interesting sentiment. I think the way I'm dealing with and plan on dealing with these feelings will matter and will have an impact and I think this exchange is going to matter and I think it's going to effect me. How I deal with that effect and what I do with my new perspective is going to matter, eventually.

Until next time,
-Erik

Currently listening to:
Song: Closing Time
Artist: Semisonic
Album: Feeling Strangely Fine (Ironic, no?)
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."